Open letter to Joss Whedon about the MCU

Dear Joss,

Great job with Avengers, and if I remember correctly, you were involved with Captain America, and that was pretty sweet too. Totally looking forward to Rise of Ultron and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

I had some thoughts about the MCU that I’d like to share with you. I read this article the other day, and while I don’t expect Fox to give up the rights to the X-Men any time soon, it would be neat if you could make a movie about Kitty Pryde (especially starring Ellen Page). I enjoyed your Astonishing X-Men run too.

I don’t expect Fox to give up the rights to the Fantastic Four, or Sony to give up Spider-Man any time soon either, so I’m not getting my hopes up for a version of Doctor Doom who, you know, is remotely correct.

I dig the Fantastic Four, and I love Spider-Man, though to be honest he’s had plenty of screen time and I’m sick to death of Peter Parker taking his mask off all the time, and frankly I don’t really care that much about the X-Men, blasphemy I know, so not having these properties isn’t a problem for me. Also Daredevil and Ghost Rider? Meh.

Besides, this allows you to make movies about some of the many other awesome Marvel characters. Like Ant-Man! I realize that Edgar Wright is doing that movie, which is totally awesome because that guy is one of my favorites. Of course, if there’s no Wasp in that movie I’m going to flip some cars.

You know who else could use a movie? Black Panther. Black Widow and Hawkeye could co-headline a spy thriller, which would be pretty sweet. Wasp, Ant-Man, Black Panther, they all segue into more Avengers movies pretty well, being Avengers and all.

You know what I like? Legal shenanigans, not with that Matt Murdock fellow, he’s pretty serious, no I mean whacky super-hero legal shenanigans. The kind where a villain sues Hercules for beating him up too much.

You know what would be great? A third Hulk movie, especially since I haven’t seen and have no desire to watch the first too, but that Mark Ruffalo guy plays one hell of a Bruce Banner/Hulk. I don’t know what the plot would be, but you know what would be a great thing to write in, even though it doesn’t make a lot of sense? Bruce giving his cousin Jennifer Walters a blood transfusion. Did you know she’s a lawyer?

Since by this time Cap and Thor will likely have had their third movies, all the independent Avengers will have had trilogies, which means we need to get some fresh blood in there.

You know who could probably do pretty well at the box office? Doctor Strange. He’s a sorcerer and a super-hero, thats like the two big things right now! He could even get into some legal troubles. I bet Jennifer Walters could represent him.

Actually, it stands to reason that, if we’re going to have Jennifer Walters get hurt in Hulk 3, and need that blood transfusion (maybe if could even be the Hulk’s fault?), we should establish her early on. Maybe Thor gets into some legal tight spot, he’s an alien in every sense of the word, after all. Maybe S.H.I.E.L.D. hires Walters for some reason.

Since Jennifer Walters has been threaded through all of these movies, it stands to reason that she should get a movie herself at some point. What could that movie be?

Oh silly me, I plumb forgot that Jennifer Walters gets a blood transfusion from Bruce Banner, and that makes her She-Hulk.

Two words, one hyphen: She-Hulk. The crowning glory of the MCU. Joss, you love strong female characters, She-Hulk is literally the strongest female character (although Thundra might disagree), and she is figuratively pretty strong too, but she’s not without her flaws. She also cracks wise a lot, she’s kind of uneasy with the whole hero gig, despite wanting to help people and enjoying the super-powrs part. She’s got kind of a sibling thing going with The Thing (who, sadly, we don’t have the rights to right now). I think you might like her Joss, she kind of reminds me of someone, a blonde. Maybe you know her, name is right on the tip of my tongue. She’s really like, buff.

I think the “secret” might be out: I really like She-Hulk. I have a signed Amanda Connor print of her beating Iron Man at the arm wrestling hanging in my room. It’s a constant reminder that, if I work really, really hard, I too can make super-heroes arm wrestle each other.

So that’s my suggestion for the MCU Joss. In a nutshell, all roads lead to She-Hulk. Ideally, those roads would be traveled by awesome female characters, but unfortunately most of those are X-Men. Wasp is pretty amazing, and I guess Black Widow is cool if you like beautiful super-spies or whatever. I wouldn’t be angry if you could work Valkyrie in there somewhere.

Yours, patiently waiting for Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (and She-Hulk),


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